A Song for the Deaf


Recently my esteemed colleague took it upon herself to out me as an (shall we say) ‘appreciator of the hard of hearing’! I feel it is only my duty now, in light of this revelation and the media storm that has erupted in it’s wake, that i should now make a statement of sorts to answer some of the questions many of you no doubt will have.

Yes, It is true that I hold a special place in my heart for the idea of the ‘Beautiful Deaf Girl’. And I’ve made no bones about that fact that i am very open to meeting and being introduced to beautiful deaf girls wherever they may be found. I don’t know what it is but i find the idea of a beautiful deaf girl much more appealing than a simple beautiful hearing girl.

Maybe it’s the suggested mystery involved with conversing with and getting to know a deaf girl. Maybe it’s some kind of repressed childhood memory or something else that causes this fascination. I definitely love signing and find that really interesting on it’s own anyway. I love to watch people sign regardless but if I spy a beautiful girl signing and carrying on a conversation that way, well i have to admit I just find that damn sexy and utterly intriguing.

For the longest time I’ve wanted to learn to sign because I’m just fascinated by the language itself, however it would be pretty pointless for me to learn as I have nobody to actually practice with and I don’t know any non-hearing people anyway. It is very possible that part of the reason I’m interested in learning is so that when that beautiful non-hearing girl does wander into my life I actually stand half a chance of being able to get her attention and chat her up.

Am i weird? Probably yes but not because of this. My interest/obsession with the idea of a fantasy deaf girl may be strange but just as much so as if it were about a hearing girl who was Spanish etc.

For some more insight on the subject of beautiful deaf girls check out the following link where a guy in the US recounts his attempts to flirt with a non-hearing girl.

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My esteemed colleague is currently on ‘Beautiful Deaf Girl Watch’ in the London area so if you happen to be a beautiful deaf girl minding your own business in covent garden or on the tube etc when you’re suddenly accosted by a mental drunk woman who gesticulates at you in an attempt to take your photo and note your particulars…… now you know why!

2008
10/07
CATEGORY
My own self
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Personal [Concerning or affecting a particular person or his or her private life and personality]

At the moment it seems like flavour of the week for the girls that I work with to fire a barrage of questions at me every day about my personal life etc. The usual, surface level questions are to be expected initially, and that much I can take. But it seems there’s always one person in a group that doesn’t pick up on your subtle indications that you would prefer not to go any further with this jolly quiz.

That person won’t stop at just asking if your attached (and if so for how long have you been thus), they want to know where you met said partner and if you married!

Not married, I say.
Well then, ‘Are you engaged?’.
Not Engaged.
Well then in that case ‘When are you going to propose?’.
Don’t know.

For this particular person, the previous three answers to the previous three questions are just not exceptable in her world. We are suddenly launched into a situation where I am being given (not offered) advice on when a man should propose and how important it is to do it right and not leave it too long.
Somehow I’m then being shown a leaflet (Yes a fucking leaflet) on pre-marraige counselling. Apparently its fantastic, and also most ‘Pastors’ won’t consider marrying a couple unless they have undergone some form of such activity. In addition I’m being informed that being married in a church is absolutely essential and it’s just not the same for anyone choosing to do otherwise.

It seems that in along with finding it completely morally reprehensible that i should not already be married (or at the very least engaged), that this person is also in utter disbelief that I have found myself fatally afflicted with not being religious or caring about whether i get married in a church.

Where can this conversation go from here? No-fucking-where, I hear you cry.

Not so in the mind of our good samaritan, I now find myself being given more advice, though again with no choice in the matter.

It seems that i am now to be regarded with the same uncertainty as an advanced stage leprosy sufferer.

Isn’t it fun getting to know people at work.

2008
09/26
CATEGORY
My own self
3 comments

White Lie [A lie of little importance, especially one told in order to be tactful or polite]

Had the obligatory phone conversation with my mother this week. Usually try to speak to her about once a month if I can remember to (or bare it). My mother talks a lot. In these ‘catch up’ calls it feels as though she truly believes that she must tell me about every single thing that she has done or thought of since the last time we spoke. I don’t bemoan these conversations, she is after all my mother and I don’t see her very often, so it’s almost a ritual of sorts now.

Obviously she asks me how I am; Obviously I say I’m fine. There’s something about that question that really grates on me. Mostly it seems when people ask it of me, I am in fact NOT all right. And it’s the kind of question that in most cases people don’t really want to hear the answer to anyway. To be honest my mother is probably a bad example because she honestly does want to know how I am, but then again if we start off down that route on one of our calls then god knows how long I might end up trapped on the phone. But in most cases (my mother withstanding) people just don’t consider the possible consequences of asking such a question.

I do my best not to ask people how they are unless I actually want to know the answer, for better or worse. Maybe if i continue in this vain those people whom I strategically don’t ask, will one day stop asking me.

Of course in some cases it’s unavoidable, the white lie is necessary to smooth over the potentially nasty pothole that such a conversation starter could lead to. Such is the custom, and long lived & learned a custom it is too.

In case you haven’t quite guessed, yes I’m still in a bad mood : )

2008
05/14
CATEGORY
My own self
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